Loving a child is one of the most overwhelmingly strong feelings I have ever felt. It is completely indescribable and out of comprehension until you feel it for yourself. My love for Max seems to somehow get stronger everyday, even when it seems impossible that it could get any stronger. The way a mother loves her child is so amazing and beautiful to me. There are many nights when I am feeding Max and putting him to sleep that I just watch him and am overwhelmed with how much I love him and how I would do anything in the world for him. I can honestly say I have always been an emotional person, but being a mother has made me even more emotional. There are many nights that I put Max to bed and just cry tears of joy. I am so thankful to God for giving me this wonderful little boy, and I am so grateful that I am able to stay home and take care of him and be with him all day. I am so happy to see his smiling face in the morning and I can’t wait for him to wake up so I can play and laugh with him. I probably kiss him over 100 times a day and I purposefully avoid putting on any lip gloss or chap stick because I don’t want it all over him. My lips have been chapped for almost 6 months now.
I feel so much love when I see Cale with Max. When Cale comes home from work and Max sees him he always smiles and starts cooing at him. It is a beautiful thing to watch and it fills me with such joy to see the two of them playing together. Sometimes I will hear Max laughing in the other room and run in there to just watch them together. It thrills me to see my brother always wanting to hold Max and constantly trying to make him smile. I love how crazy my mom is about Max and how he’s always pulling on her face and hair and she just lets him. I smile watching my dad bounce Max around and Max invariably arching his back and squirming in my dad’s arms.
Most of all, I love that Max wants me. He is safe and happy in my arms. It is amazing to have the touch of a mother that can calm him like no one else can. It melts my heart. Being a mother is such a joy and blessing that I cannot imagine my life without Max.
